Self-Improvement (3)

Is it Perseverance or Desperation?  


When we are seeking love, it is either perseverance or desperation. How so? It is perseverance if we really know what we are looking for and continue to hold on to that regardless of the situation. It is desperation if we consider the person because we have no choice and it’s been so long.

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When we love, we want it to persevere because it lasts longer than desperation. With this, it is important that we learn to identify whether it is perseverance or desperation. Here are some questions that we need to ask ourselves in order to identify the line between the two:

  • Is it about us or our ego? There are times that things are not great for us. This is when relationships come in. If we think that our relationship will benchmark our value as human beings, then it would be desperation. We have to snap out of this relationship because it can be real satisfying and misguided.


  • Is the person worth fighting for or we are just blinded romance? There are persons who are worth fighting for and there are just those who blind us. If that person persists no matter the situation – that is perseverance but if that relationship is destructive and causes too much grief and sadness, holding on to that relationship is called desperation.
  • Are we wasting our life on the person or not? Our life is all about ourselves (though it sounds extremely selfish). If we romanticize that there is a person that will complete us and hold on to that person – that is purely desperation. We just want to assure ourselves that we made the right decision because that person “completes” us.
  • Rock Climbing on Turnagain Arm

The Key to Happiness and Success


Happiness and success are simple terms but hard to fathom. We live everyday knowing that our ultimate goal is happiness and success. We tried many things to realize these things but sometimes our attempts are futile. No matter what happens, we have to keep on finding our happiness and success so our lives are fulfilled.


We have to know that there is one key to happiness and success here in Singapore. According to an article published by John Templeton Foundation, the key to happiness and success is regulation. We need to know the concept of regulation before anything else. Regulation is a strength that can help us uphold stability in our behavior and emotions. We have many experiences of success with regulation. To understand this better, think of a time when we calmed our anxieties and we aced that big presentation or a time when we were about to say something hurtful to a loved one but did not continue it.

In simple words, regulation can influence how we treat and interact with others, how we overcome temptations, how we persist in challenges, how we handle recent adversities and how we overcome past adversities. There are many types of regulatory strengths like emotional regulation, psychological endurance and emotional awareness which are related with mental and physical health. Experts believe that regulation is where people struggle most.


The good news is that we can improve regulation with thorough practice. Regulation is like exercise that can make our bodies strong if we consistently do it. What are the things that promote regulation? Here are some activities that we can do to fortify regulation:

  • Meditation: One activity that can promote regulation is meditation. Meditation can be in many forms like yoga or even writing about our emotions in our journal.
  • Nourishing the faith: We take solace knowing that God is always with us no matter where we go and no matter what we are going through. Our religious faith will give us peace in midst of anger. We can consider praying or going to masses to nourish our faith.

Knowing this, we need to realize that regulatory strength is the key to happiness and success whether we are here in Singapore or outside. So, if we realize that regulation is not our greatest strength, we need not sulk or feel alone. We have to rise to the occasion. Regulation is a skill and it can be learned and improved overtime. Regulatory strength can help us overcome our weakness which will later become our strengths.


Advice for Fresh Graduates

Real world is new. It is harsh. It is way different from one’s comfort zone. Real world brings a lot of pain physically, emotionally and spiritually. There are competitive people who will put you down, and there will be challenges that will tear you apart. Nonetheless, as a fresh graduate, you must be head and heart strong to face all these. Here are some tips to help you in facing the real world.


Accept that you are facing a different life. Life after graduation is way different that what you got used to in school. In school, you can stop and rest when you are exhausted, but in real world, you have no choice but to go on and keep moving because you are already being paid. Accept the fact that there will be a lot of changes, and these changes will be drastic. Expect the worse, so you can prepare yourself.

Prepare your mind and heart. Real world is a battle, and everything you learned from school and all the values you have cultivated in studying will serve as your weapons in shield in facing the battle. Make sure to use your mind. When objectivity and knowledge are called by the situation, make sure to use them. When compassion is what is needed, do not hesitate to be compassionate. Your years of studying prepared you for this, apply all that you learned.


Keep your focus. What are your goals after graduation? If it is your goal to land a job in a particular company, make sure to focus and do everything it takes to achieve that goal. Do not let distractions like the feeling of not being ready yet, fear, criticisms of other people and negative thoughts to the real world slow you down. Just focus on your goals and make them happen.

Prepare all job hunting paraphernalia. Since getting a job is every fresh graduate’s goal, make sure that you prepare all job hunting materials you need. A well written resume is your key to getting a job as it is the first thing employers would see. Prepare yourself on interviews. Job hunting will be your first real world challenge.